i think i scared a bird with my dick
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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