you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Green mimosas i think yes
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
