P.S. I can't hear my feet
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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