All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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