the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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