we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
