Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
