Barsexuality is the new black.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
