Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
