I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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