why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
