We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
