I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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