i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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