Life is so much better after having sex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
