you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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