it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
