brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
