He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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