Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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