her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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