there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
