it wasn't lemon gatorade
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
