me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
