So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
