i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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