69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
