she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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