Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
