just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
