Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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