I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
