So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I puked a lego.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
