I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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