yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
