we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
