I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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