and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
