The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The adults are the big ones right?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
