She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
