Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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