1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
