I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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