it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
