Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We need to rekindle our bromance
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
