I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
