Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
