She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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