i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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