did you get engaged???
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
