Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
