Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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