you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
