i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sext me about skeletons
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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